Google SUCKS today!

I type in a word or question or phrase and I get all these links that have nothing to do with what I need. I'm starting to get pissed. Is there no fucking website out there that talks about Douglas Buege's five points of responsible knowing?!?!?!


GGGRRRRRRRRRRR

So I didn't gain any more weight. I actually lost the 2 pounds that I had gained. So I'm back down to 198 :) They gave me this appietit suppressant that I'm going to start taking. I went to lifestyles with heather tonight and ryan says i can get a membership as long as i dont have to get a new car.

I'm off work tonight and all day tomorrow. Don't really have anything to do but clean and read for school. Tomorrow night is wednesday so i'm sure i'll be at jf kicks. So bored....

Lets see..

Tuesday I weighed in and I had gained 1.6 pounds. Not happy about that. Need to start kicking ass. Tuesday morning I rode my bike 5 miles. I want to ride again but the tire is flat AGAIN so I am going to wait until it is permenatly fixed.

Wednesday I went with Heather, her mom and her brother to Adventure Island. SPF 50 + 4 hours outside in Fl = sunburn. But I had the most fun I've had in awhile. I actaully went down the slide that made you go face first. TWICE! I would have went more but those flippin stairs killed me! I'm so outta shape =0( (FYI..its like 5 flights of stairs possibly more)

Ryan just brought me tea :) Earl Grey =0) Him: "Heres your tea...theres no sugar in it" Me: "Eck!" I really made that sound lol

Wednesday night I went to Dallas Bull for the first time in like a month. Had a blast dancing. Must go every week again. I was chillin by myself watching people dance when this guy started talking to me and then offered to buy me drinks if I taught him how to dance. Uhmm..NO. I stuck next to deb the rest of the night. It really bothered me. I mean, I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I did NOT want to get hit on. I know I should be flattered but it just pissed me off.

Yesterday I slept ALL day. I got home at 1:30am and went to sleep till 8am. Then back to sleep at 10. Slept till 6:30 then back to sleep at 7 till 9. Yesterday was a bad day. Severly depressed for no reason.

Today I got home from work at 6 am and slept till 8 when Ryan got home. Now I need to write a 500 word paper before noon and read 30 pages and take a test before 5pm.

I've decided to make my journal friends only. I have begun posting more comments in communities and I feel strange having my information where anyone can read it. Everyone on my friends list stays =0)

"Only through awareness-not through thinking-can you differenitate between fact and opinion. Only through awareness can you see the totality of the situation or person instead of adopting one limited perspective."

"The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. And what is grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion."

I love Grey's Anatomy!

Cali (talking to grey and christina): "Does anyone ever think you to are a couple?"
Grey: "No because we screw boys like whores on tequila"

=0) Someone needs to make me an icon with a pic of grey with those words!

Ryan made the laptop wireless =0)

I have found heaven

http://ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/web/courses/courses/index.htm

According to LJ, last year I made a resoloution to lose 20lbs by august 2007. Well, that didn't happen. 1 year ago I weighed 191 and I now weigh 202. 10 pound gain. I am not making a resolution to lose weight this year but I am going to try to do it. My only resoloution this year is to be happy.

Anyway, I need to lose weight. Theres no excuse. I have time. I've just been sleeping too much. And then doing nothing. I have 5 hours during the day that I could be exercising and cooking healthy while Ryan is sleeping and instead I sleep in for 3 of those hours. Totaling about 10-12 hours of sleep a night! I can't keep doing that, I mean its great sleeping i love sleeping but its a waste of time. SO..

Chad, you expressed a little intrest in helping me with exercising by doing it with me. If you still want to, we need to write down our schedules and then schedule in some exercise time. I will be going to wal mart either before work today or tomorrow to buy a sports bra that fits! LOL

I need to go wake Ryan up, I'll post more later..maybe

What I got for Christmas:

Ryans mom got me a cookbook
ryans grandma sent us $50
ryans uncle sent us a home depot card amount unknown
nothing from:
my grandparents (completly understandable..no money) ryan (no money) my aunt and uncle (we draw names) my father (asshole) his parents (dont care anyway)

What I got from my mom and Dena:
a smores cooking kit (like a fondue kit)
a girly tool kit
fuzzy socks
a candle holder thingy
movie gift card
20Q (its a hand held game thing)
and a $50 check


Ryan agreed that i can use the 50 on something for my self so i believe chad and i are going to the mall tomorrow

my dad didnt call me and melissa didnt call me. i have not spoke to either of them since early november possible october...fuck both of them i dont need them.

I love Ryan
I'm begining to try to love myself
The end

So this week is gonna be hell.
I woke up yesterday (the 23rd) at 11:30 left the house at noon went to christmas shopping. Got home at 4pm. Through clothes in the wash and hung clothes up. Went to work. I'm now at work until 2am.
Today, the 24th, i have to get home around 2:25, wrap presents, go to sleep, wake up at 9:30, shower, go to my grandmas to pick up everyones presents, go to my aunts in appollo beach, after my aunts go to work by 4pm work till 1 am. Ryan will pick me up from work then we will go to my moms (an hour away) get to my moms around 2:30am or 3am. Go to sleep, wake up around 8am or 9am, do christmas there, leave there by 1pm to go straight to work from 2:30-1:30.

AAHHHHH,.....back to work!

1. I've come to realize that, my life:
Will only be as good as I will alow it to be.

2. I've come to realize that, I talk:
Too much when it isn't nessecary

3. I've come to realize that, I love :
learning

4. I've come to realize that, I have:
not lived my life like i should have

5. I've come to realize that, I lost:
nothing. You can not be upset about the past, if you dwell in the past, you will never see the future.

6. I've come to realize that, I hate it when:
its hot outside! (haha)

7. I've come to realize that, Marriage is:
not something that do until you know that you are 80% done growing as a person.(we never stop growing)

8. I've come to realize that, somewhere, someone is thinking:
people think many things. how can i know what someone is thinking? this is a stupid one

9. I've come to realize that, I'll always be:
growing

10. I've come to realize that, I have a crush on:
no one. I am with the person whom i want to spend the rest of my life with.

11. I've come to realize that, The last time I truly cried was:
friday night. Crying is good for you. it releaves stress and you feel much better afterwards

12. I've come to realize that, My cell phone is:
a pain in my ass

13. I've come to realize that, When I wake up in the morning:
that i am waking up to a completly different day that dose not need to be like the one before

14. I've come to realize that, Before I go to sleep at night I:
make sure all the doors are locked?

15. I've come to realize that, Right now I am thinking about :
going to sleep

16. I've come to realize that, Babies are :
people.

17. I've come to realize that, I get on myspace:
to spy on people

18. I've come to realize that, Today was:
another day and so will tomorrow and the next

19. I've come to realize that, Tonight I will :
work

20. I've come to realize that, Tomorrow I will:
try my best to do the things i need to do without being lazy

21. I've come to realize that, I really want to:
travel

So I've had alot of time to read at my new job. Reading in between phone calls. So I;ve picked up one of my Anne Rice books title "Memnoch the Devil" Of course I am enjoying it. I always do. The point of this entry is say that for the first time in my life I believe I would enjoy being immortal. Not being able to die or age. Just like Anne's vampires. I don't want to be a vampire. I just want to be able to live through centuries and centuries. Learning from different ages and different cultures and then teaching what I learn to others. Damn, that would be nice. I feel as though I don't have enough time in my life right now. Not enough time to learn EVERYTHING. Of course, it would be lonely, I wonder if Ryan would want to be immortal. I doubt it. He's to level-headed. HAHA....GOtta go back to work and finish my daydreams!

So I did not go to sleep. I put on my ipod and did some dishes and then went to the grocery store. Freakin 40 dollars for just about nothing! Anyway its 1pm and all I have left to do is exercise and homework and possibly a nap. I could just go nap until 3 when Ryan wakes up. Eh..We'll see!

I don't know whats wrong with me. I have all of this ambition but as soon as I start working towards it, I don't feel like doing it anymore. Example:

Today I was sopossed to wake up, find recipies for this week, get my check, deposit my check, grocery shop, put groceries away, do dishes and laundry, then work on Logic until I have to go to work at 4:30.

What I have done:
woke up, watched t.v. trying to get in a better mood. Looked at about 15 pages of recipies, decided to go shoping without the list and also go to kmart to find clothes. I went and got my check, deposited it at the bank, went to kmart and tried on 6 different things (none fitting right) then decided to come home because i was starting to get a headache and it was hot outside. Got home and put clothes in the wash and then got online.

Thats it. Its 11:40. I have 5 hours until I have to go to work. I still need to grocery shop, do dishes, exercise, and work on Logic. Dosen't sound like a lot eh? Well it is, only because I am TIRED. Fuck this stress making me tired.

New plan:
Sleep for an hour or two. do dishes, exercise (i MUST start exercising) grocery shop, and then possibly do Logic. I can always do homework while I'm at work tonight.

Oh yea,
My work schedule is 5PM to 2AM with thursday and friday off. So if anyone ever wants to go out (HEATHER!) we have to go out either thursdays or fridays or BOTH. HAHA...Im out

So tomorrows my last day in training at my new job. I realized today that I am an idiot for getting a call center job when I don't even like talking that much! *handface* Listening to Sirius radio online. Yay for free products from work. Instead of paying 12.99 a month, I get it for free. What else? Uhhmm...I got the schedule I wanted at work. 5pm to 2am. That way I can sleep from 3-10am and then have the whole day to do whatever I want. =0) Last class for this semester is Tuesday but I'm scheduled to work so I have to see if Chad will turn in my test and paper for me. I still need to do both of those. I'm also studying for the A+ (a computer thing) If I know A+ I can move to the Dell side and make more money! Ryan started 3rd shift Monday night I freaked and stayed the night at my grandmas but the past two nights I've stayed by myself. I wanted to go out tonight but Heather hasn't called back. Probally won't go. I think I'm going to go to bed now. Ryan already left so its really quite here =0(

CHAD! I HAVE A GOAL FOR SCHOOL!!! FINALLY! After 4 years I have a flippin goal and I am flying off the walls. I have never really had a goal before. In any area, not just school. And now I do! I want this sooo bad!!!!! .....


Concentration in Applied Behavior Analysis

Undergraduate majors working toward the B.A. in psychology may complete a structured sequence of coursework and practicum in Applied Behavior Analysis. Students are admitted to the program in the junior or senior year, after completing EXP 4404, Psychology of Learning and CLP 4414, Behavior Modification with a grade of B or better. Admission requirements further include a minimum overall USF GPA of 3.0 or better, GPA of 3.2 for Psychology coursework, completion of at least 75 hours, and three letters of recommendation. Admissions are made in the fall of each academic year. Successful completion of the concentration prepares students for employment opportunities in a variety of settings, for advanced study in Applied Behavior Analysis, and eligibility for completion of the Florida Certification Examination for Associate Behavior Analysis. Detailed information regarding the program and the admission process may be obtained from the undergraduate advisor or the program secretary.


Time to kick some serious studying ass!

It is disgusting that I am 5'6 and weigh 200 pounds. Granted, I have lost 5lbs since I lost my job but its not enough. I am sickened by the fact that when I bend my knees I can feel my skin being stretched over the fat. I have decided to take this new free time (aka..no job) and really push myself to get in shape. I have just ate my last pint of half baked..never again will I do that..NEVER! I am a member of a meetup group that meets to exercise but they normally do it on the weekends, I have asked the moderator to make a post asking if anyone wanted to meet during the week. Lets pray they do! I would post to craigslist for people to work out with but I dont trust that. Oh, I also rented Supersize me and will watch it as soon as I figure out how to hook the dvd player up!